The grandiosity gap

 

No past or future.

Dissociate. Confabulate. Contradict themselves. Life as theater.

Arguing won't work

 

They change only from consequences: loss of access, loss of control, exposure.

When you heal, they can't take it

 

Narcissists and nostalgia

 

They use it to maintain an image and do so selectively. 

Go by actions

 

because

They are not pathetic because they don't stand up to him, but they don't stand up to him because they are pathetic.

When you have recovered