Tuesday, December 16, 2025

The Mind of a Narcissist No Contact, Grey Rock & Survival -Sam Vaknin



There's nobody home. It's like trying to pin down jelly. They have no memory. They can hold different views because don't remember any of them. They are a product of everyone around them. You have all the power but they convince you they have it. Don't show them emotion. They will use that against you. Cold empathy, which means they see your emotion but use it against you. Don't offer help, advice, or guidance. 1) Narc will interpret this as weakness and will use it against you. Will fake injury to do so. 2) Will take it as insult. He doesn't need advice. He knows everything. He's above emotions. First you are special and then you are the opposite. 


Comments

Omg! Yes, I certainly believe that a narcissist lacks access to 80% of his memories. It was like we had NO shared past at all. It was crazy making. Plans I’d thought we’d made, things I’d thought we’d agreed on, good times we enjoyed together…… just not there, very shortly after the fact.

It took me years to realize why every conversation became an argument. She was never trying to communicate. I was trying to have an interaction with something that doesn't exist. She was trying to get supply. It's so dehumanizing.