There's nobody home. It's like trying to pin down jelly. They have no memory. They can hold different views because don't remember any of them. They are a product of everyone around them. You have all the power but they convince you that they have it.
Don't show them emotion. They will use that against you. Cold empathy, which means they see your emotion but use it against you. Don't offer help, advice, or guidance. Why? 1) Narc will interpret this as weakness and will use it against you. Will fake injury to do so. 2) Will take it as insult. He doesn't need advice. He knows everything. He's above emotions.
First you are special and then you are the opposite.
Narc talks to the snapshot, is emotionally invested in the snapshot, as you move from it because you are dynamic, he loses interest or sees you as a threat as you challenge the snapshot. They are religious where the god is the same as the worshipper. Narc is the leader of a cult and you are the cult member.
If child is told he can do no wrong then he doesn't develop a boundary between himself and environment. Invents a false self that can he do no wrong. Or develops a false self to protect from pain. It's a private religion. Sacrifices his true self to a false god.
External locus of control. Believes life is determined from outside and so blames everything on outside. I'm not responsible. You can become that locus of control but narc will blame you for everything. She will develop a conspiracy theory about you. You become her god.
Therapists try to treat narc as adults, reason with them, ask for promises. No narcissist alive whose mental age is older than 11. Can't treat them as adults.
Gullible, believes everyone and everything. No one more stupid than the one who thinks he's God. Convince him that it's his idea and he'll do it. Ask for his advice. Manipulate using his grandiosity and magical thinking. Tell him you deserve this.
Paranoia is a sign of narcissism. I'm important enough for someone to want to harm me. I'm the center of attention.
Hypervigilant. If you say good evening, they think you don't think I know it's evening?
Comments
Omg! Yes, I certainly believe that a narcissist lacks access to 80% of his memories. It was like we had NO shared past at all. It was crazy making. Plans I’d thought we’d made, things I’d thought we’d agreed on, good times we enjoyed together…… just not there, very shortly after the fact.
It took me years to realize why every conversation became an argument. She was never trying to communicate. I was trying to have an interaction with something that doesn't exist. She was trying to get supply. It's so dehumanizing.
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